Update 3 of 3: Stella's Nana

Last weekend the family packed a lunch and went to other side of town to visit Stella's Nana. The trek took us back to my mom's old stomping grounds-the great west side of San Antonio. She grew-up in the area as did most of her family until later in life when some moved to different parts of town. I know the HEB across the street and the chain of stores surrounding it for many years. The church down the block still has my family actively participating in different levels and it is where I received all my sacraments. Every time I go and visit I see her in the surroundings.

It was the first time that I have taken Stella to go visit her Nana. She only knew one grandchild and she told that child to call her "Nana." She was Nana to a few other children and she was a crazy aunt to a whole bunch more. When my sister had Lexi, my mom was ecstatic. She told me once, "this little girl gives me so much joy."

"So when are you going to hurry up and have one?"

She had absolved herself that I might not bring her grandchildren any time soon. I remember once that she had clipped a submission form out of the paper asking people to nominate someone they knew enjoyed focusing on their career. She told me, "Look, I read this and I am going to send it in for you." She knew I wanted to move back to D.C. after law school and she knew that while San Antonio was always going to be my home. It was not going to be my place of residence. At least not for a while. She didn't care much for this.

So in the mean time Nana loved to take care of people's kids and spoil them. She would often let them do the things that she was asked not to let them do. Lexi once told us a story about how she and Nana went to a parking lot and just started to do doughnuts while they waited for grandpa. This is only one of many examples I have heard.

When Belinda and I started dating there was a night I asked her to meet me at a Jim's dinner. I had just left a MADD event where I was asked to speak to people who were on probation for DWI. That was a bad idea. Bad. Why I did I don't know. But I did. Belinda arrived at the restaurant and I asked her to sit next to me. I began to tell her what I came to realize as I spoke to this room of strangers. I told her, "Part of getting to know me is knowing where I come from and the people who have made me what I am. And the knowledge that one of the two people who made me everything I am is gone makes me sad. I wish you could have meet her Belinda."

Ever since Stella has arrived I often find myself thinking the same thing with her. I wonder what stories my mom would have told Stella about her dad and about the family that she comes from. Not if she would have spoiled her, but to what degree she would have done so. What adventures would she have taken Stella on only to finish each with, "Don't tell your father." What would have been her little name for Stella.

And yet, I know Stella will still know about her Nana. Everyday something reminds me about my mom. And when those moments come I know I will share them with Stella the same way I have learned to share them with Belinda. So despite feeling sad every once in a while I am more often excited about the stories and adventures I will get to take Stella on to teach her about her Nana.

Stella as I see it is a very lucky girl. She has the love of four wonderful grandparents. Three who are here to watch over her and one who is in heaven watching over her. No time did I know this more clearly than when we had to spend a few nights in the hospital. I knew that somewhere Stella's Nana was calling in favors and pulling strings to get her home while her other grandma was rocking her gently to sleep and the grandpas paced the halls.

But for my mom's passing I probably would have moved back to DC and gone on my expected plan. Life kept me in San Antonio where I wanted to work to help stop other families from feeling the loss that we felt. But for that, I might not have met the wonderful woman who would become my wife. And but for that, I would not have been blessed with the beautiful child who brings me such joy. I know for a fact that Nana had something to do with both of these events. Just like I know she will have something to do with many of the blessing that are yet to come.

Thanks for watching over us mom.

Stella: you have four wonderful grandparents who have a lot to teach you. Be sure and listen.