Fathers Day

What can I tell you? It was a good day. It was two days for me actually.

My Father’s day started the day before on Saturday. Belinda had work to attend to at the school so it was Stella and I against the world. Now, this was not the first time it’s been her and I, but this time Stella was completely frustrated with something.

Once mom had left we played for a good amount of time. I was hoping to put her down for her nap and let her rest before we went to surprise mom at work. Nap time came around and Stella’s alter ego showed up. I went down the list.

Is she hungry? Got her some food. Wasn’t having it. Next.

Is she wet? Changed her diaper just because she seems to enjoy laying on her changing spot and stair at the floating bugs. Still wasn’t having it. Next.

Walk around. Being the busy body she is she often gets fussy just sitting around. But walking around was not getting it done.

Fifteen minutes late she is still crying. Nothing is making her happy or stopping the fussiness.

Thirty minutes…

Nada.

Finally I take Stella to her room and lay her in her crib and sit in the rocking chair. She is crying.

Me. I had my face in my hands as I sat there frustrated in the rocking chair. I just keep thinking to myself, “Why do you feel so completely out of control?” Lost in my thoughts I failed to realize that Stella had stopped crying. She had her small hand grasping the crib and she was starring at me—just looking through the white posts that make up her crib. She wouldn’t look away. I peaked through my fingers and saw her just waiting for me to look up almost like she was concerned about me. When I finally looked up she gave me a smile. Something about the look she gave me made me feel like everything was going to be alright. Despite my lack of control and feelings of insecurity she was going to be OK even if I was still learning to fit into my title and role of “father.”

Stella’s smile was her gift to me on Saturday and Belinda and she got me another gift on Sunday.

I hard requested we spend Father’s day at my favorite restaurant, Double Dave’s. It a pizza buffet establishment that Belinda does not care for. For those of you who didn’t know, Belinda does not look kindly on buffets.

After a valiant attempt to get my moneys worth of pizza we came home and Belinda gave me my gifts. It was a date night. She and I have an official date with each other in July to see concert and have a nice dinner. Its perfect and I love it. This will be our fourth official date night if you were to include the time we went to the mall to buy a bed as a date. Right next to spending time with both of them is spending quality time with my wife.

Stella also got me a photo from her most recent photo shoot which I have yet to be able to tell y’all about since I am still trying to get the photos together.

All I can say is that my first father’s day was a great one. This whole father thing is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, even harder than giving blood, but it seems the small rewards make it all worth it. Something tells me you never stop worrying about if you are doing all the right things for your child you just got to keep the faith and do what you think is best.

Thank you to my wife and daughter for a great father’s day weekend. I love y’all very much.